Freedom from the self
Years ago when I was a kid in delusional levels of optimism about the world, I found Jiddu Krishnamurti through a coincidence. I was depressed and tired of life, stuck in a rut and loaded with years of self-sabotage. I really felt like Ourobouros at some point, and started embracing the life of "quiet desperation" that defines a majority of the male experience. So when Krishnamurti implored me to free myself from my self, I paid close attention.
Millennia of Hindu philosophical thought have been defined by this quest to comprehend the "big questions", although to me these appear like the simplest possible questions one could ask. In the nascent light of the emergent mind, the vastness of the lived experience appears daunting and hence an implied reason to embrace life in its mundane truth. Food, clothes, jobs - currencies we invent to keep the illusion of the self sustained as it tries to make sense of its belonging. The cup of life is full of cold, sweet water for the thirsty spirit. What remains when you evaporate it entirely?
All my life I have tiptoed around other lives, trying my best to not make a sound or shake their soft sleep with my feet. This forced deception has eroded my sense of self and today, I'm a perpetually disconnected man who's perpetually angry at himself for forcing his soul into a cage of his own making. Sisyphus must be laughing in agony!
It took my far too long to understand the point Krishnamurti had made. That this life was inauthentic, was a truth not distanced from reality. In fact, moments of solitude had repeatedly revealed the sense of purpose so inherent to me. But forced conformity was a crown of thorns I'd chosen to wear, and now it has become too heavy.
The way out
There's none. There's not "out", as much as there is no "in".
Life just is.
You do not owe allegiance to anyone, or anything, other than the God that hides inside your skin. No fear, pain, sorrow or joy exists where the Godhead, the Jivatman resides.
You owe it to him, to free this spirit from the cage of the self.
Which happens when you are unbothered by the road and all its imagery. Beauty exists beyond your perception; you are a mere witness passing through.
You will not make anyone happy, but yourself. Not your self, which is an image that the world makes out of this ball of energy hiding inside your shell. Yourself on the other hand, is the awareness of what exists beyond the envelope. The tunnel beyond the light.
The meaning beyond words.
You are free only when you are aware, completely aware. From the depths of the atom to the loft of the cosmos, your awareness is your true self.
Set it free.